Weapons
Weapons
For crafted Weapons see: Crafted Items
Melee Weapons
- Weapons used in close combat. They can either be Bladed or Blunt. None of them makes any noise.
Bladed Weapons
- Sharp and deadly. They can be anything from a fire axe to a broken bottle.
| Item | Description | Damage | Hit Chance | Effects | Location / Dropped By | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Amputation Knife | This thing cost me an arm and a leg! | 5-8 | 50% | Bleeding 25% | Halloween Event | |
| Anaesthetic Needle | Not for recreational use | 1-3 | 55% | Lethargic 50% | Ammo: Bottle of Anaesthetic (capacity 2) | |
| Ancient Katana | You are now living out your anime fantasy! (Unless your anime fantasy involves tentacles) | 5-8 | 50% | Bleeding 10% | Purchasable From The Mall | |
| Antique Cutlass | YARRRRRRRRR! | 2-4 | 70% | |||
| Antique Sabre | A Pattern 1796 Light Cavalry Sabre, this is not the light sabre you were looking for | 2-4 | 60% | Revolutionary Museum | ||
| Barbed Wire | For those times your comments aren't barbed enough. | 0-3 | 60% | |||
| Battle Axe | take their heads! | 6-9 | 50% | Bleeding 40% | Ye Olde Weapons Shop | |
| Bloody Butcher Knife | ProTip: Washing it will not change the name | 4-6 | 55% | Bleeding 30% | Cannibal Attendant | Christmas Event |
| Bone Saw | 5-8 | 50% | Bleeding 20% | |||
| Boxcutter | It also cuts boxes very well. | 1-3 | 55% | Bleeding 50% | ||
| Broken Bottle | Did you spill my pint? | 1-4 | 60% | Bleeding 20% | ||
| Bullwhip | You found it next to a large boulder, and a crumpled, bloodstained, fedora. | 2-5 | 55% | |||
| Butcher Knife | Finely honed steel, it's wickedly sharp, but definitely not a Wicked Knife. | 1-3 | 55% | Bleeding 45% | ||
| Camping Axe | A blunt axe, from the makers of the Chocolate Teapot | 2-4 | 70% | |||
| Cat o' Nine Tails | Exactly the same as a Cat o' One Tails, except there are nine of them | 4-5 | 50% | |||
| Christmas Hook | 5-9 | 55% | ?? | Meat Hook the Yule Lad | Christmas Event | |
| Corrupted Injector | Something has gone horribly wrong with this injector | 1-8 | 55% | Cellular Corruption 15% | Corrupted Helix Researcher | Ammo: Vile Serum |
| Crypt Rippers Canine Tooth | It doesn't come from a mouth you'd want to kiss. | 4-7 | 55% | Crypt Ripper | ||
| Cursed Dagger | As yet it's unclear who it curses, the wielder, or the victim | 3-5 | 60% | Terrified 20% | ||
| Dentures | Are they plastic, are they steel? A small label on them reads, If found, return to John Wayne | 0-1 | 30% | |||
| Dirty Syringe | The only thing it hasn't previously been used to inject, is horse semen | 1-2 | 40% | 35% Infected | Ammo: Slime | |
| Door of the Lads | 4-12 | 50% | ?? | Door Slammer | Christmas Event | |
| Dull Display Katana | That there's the Black Vampire. Watch out! She bites. | 2-5 | 65% | |||
| Dull Display Battle Axe | A display battle axe with a dulled blade. | 2-5 | 65% | Ye Olde Weapons Shop | ||
| Emasculator | Veterinary Surgical Tool for Large Animal Castration | 5-8 | 50% | Bleeding 25% | Vet | |
| Experimental Creature Claws | Nobody believes where you got this, it sounds like a shaggy dog story | 1-6 | 70% | Bleeding 30%, Hemorrhage 35% | ||
| Falcon Talon | They're only terrifying if you're a rabbit | 1-2 | 70% | |||
| Fire Axe | With a bit of polish you could probably get this Shining | 3-5 | 60% | Bleeding 30% | Fire Departments, Hardware Stores | |
| Firefighters Pike Pole | Perfect for poking things that are far away | 3-7 | 55% | Bleeding 10% | ||
| Fireplace Poker | Not the poker that's in the rear, unless you're particularly unfortunate | 1-4 | 70% | Houses | ||
| Formerly Magic Axe | The weapon formerly known as Magic Axe | 4-6 | 60% | Kallikanzaro | Christmas Event | |
| Giant Icicle | Don't let it go! | 5-8 | 50% | |||
| Giant Shark Tooth | This is enough to put you off swimming, for life | 5-8 | 50% | |||
| Garden Rake | Property of Robert UnderdunkTerwilliger Jr., PhD | 4-4 | 50% | |||
| Garden Sickle | Ideal for he who gardens behind the roses | 3-4 | 60% | Bleeding 25% | Man-Eating Plant | |
| Helicopter Blade | Takkatakataka | 5-8 | 50% | Bleeding 20% | ||
| Horse Whip | I'll have you know some people pay good money for this | 4-5 | 50% | Bleeding 15% | ||
| Ice Chopper | Like a fat polar bear, it's a real icebreaker | 4-7 | 60% | |||
| Khopesh | Egyptian sickle sword | 2-4 | 70% | Bleeding 30% | Museum of Egyptian Antiquities | |
| Killer Doll’s Knife | Honestly, you'd think more of these psychotic toys would have been caught my Quality Assurance | 5-8 | 50% | Bleeding 45%, Hemorrhage 30% | Killer Doll | Halloween Event |
| Large Axe | A step up from the Medium Axe | 5-8 | 55% | Bleeding 40% | Christmas Killer | Christmas Event |
| Large Shark Tooth | At least it's not still attached to the shark | 4-5 | 45% | |||
| Machete | Thank god it's Friday! | 5-8 | 50% | Bleeding 45% | Masked Psycho | |
| Meat Hook | I guess you're dressing up as Sanford for Halloween this year, huh? | 2-3 | 55% | |||
| Monster Slaying Greatsword | A sword designed to kill monsters. | 6-10 | 60% | 40% Monsterbane | Rare drop from Monster Slayer | |
| Naginata | It’s like if a sword and spear had a child | 2-6 | 35% | Bleeding 20%
AOE 3 |
Museum of Japanese Warfare | |
| Nuclear Warhead | It's okay to be disappointed. | 5-8 | 40% | |||
| Owl Knife | Getting this knife should make you Deliria-sly happy | 1-10 | 50% | Hemorrhage 15% | Owl Killer | |
| Pair Of Ice Skates | The leather is old and cracked, the sequins have all fallen off, but the blades are still keen | 2-4 | 50% | Bleeding 30% | ||
| Pickaxe | Hiiiii Hooooo! | 5-8 | 50% | |||
| Pitchfork | Perfect for when you've finally had enough of the mad professor who lives in the castle on the hill | 4-6 | 50% | |||
| Poisoned Silver Spear | The weapon equivalent of an I Killed Dumptruck T-shirt, you monster | 3-6 | 65% | Poison 45% | The Deformed Child | |
| Rabbit Stabby | A knife formed of a army knife hilt and a large rabbit tooth | 6-9 | 55% | Hemorrhage ?%, Cell Corruption ?% | Easter Event | |
| Rib Spreader | If you can't get to somebody's heart through their stomach, these also work | 6-9 | 50% | Weakened 25% | The Ghost Maker | |
| Ripper Knife | Not the Australian kind of ripper | 4-8 | 65% | Bleeding 50% | Jade Ripper | |
| Rotten Mandible | The only way to tell a Rotten Mandible from a fresh one is to lick it | 4-6 | 60% | Infected 30% | The Malamortis | |
| Sashimi Knife | Sushi, coming up! | 2-4 | 45% | Bleeding 30% | ||
| Saw | It's a saw, you use it for sawing things | 1-2 | 70% | |||
| Scalpel | Paging Dr.Giggles, Dr.Giggles to surgery, please. | 1-2 | 70% | Bleeding 50% | Dentist Offices, Fort Infirmary, Funeral Homes, Hospitals | |
| Scissors | Apparently strong enough to cut through a tyre | 2-3 | 70% | |||
| Scythe | Reaping burns a lot of calories | 5-8 | 45% | Bleeding 35% | Barns | |
| Serrated Army Knife | Not one of those cheap Rambo knives | 2-5 | 60% | Bleeding 20% | Fort Barnes Armory | |
| Shadow Talons | Three conditions means they're very talonted | 12-13 | 60% | Hemorrhage 25%
Terrified 30% Weakened 15% |
Teros | Restricted |
| Sharpened Candy Cane | It's beginning to look a lot like ChristmaaaAAARGH!!! | 2-3 | 75% | Dazed 30% | Christmas Event | |
| Shiv | You found this one hidden in a prison wallet | 1-3 | 70% | Bleeding 50% | ||
| Spear | Your Michael Caine impression is terrible, please stop | 1-5 | 70% | |||
| Steak Knife | More effective when the target is already dead, and cooked rare | 2-4 | 70% | Bleeding 30% | ||
| Switchblade | A lever lock switchblade, are you a Shark, or a Jet? | 2-3 | 55% | Bleeding 40% | Punks | |
| Tomahawk | Not the missile | 2-5 | 60% | Bleeding 30% | ||
| Turkey Talon | Cuts through light meat, and dark meat, with ease | 5-6 | 60% | Bleeding 30% | Thanksgiving Event | |
| Vampiric Sacrifice Knife | 4-6 | 65% | Hemorrhage 40%, Sick 20% | Oakshade Warden | ||
| Wicked Knife | It's wicked, innit? | 2-4 | 70% | Decay 20%, Terrified 25% | The Mother |
Blunt Weapons
- Blunt and deadly. They can be anything from a baseball bat to a rock.
| Item | Description | Damage | Hit Chance | Effects | Location / Dropped By | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Bag Of Garbage | A responsible player would find a garbage can to put this in | 2-4 | 49% | |||
| Bag of Subway Tokens | You have no excuse to hop the turnstile any more | 2-4 | 70% | |||
| Banjo | Perfect for duelling | 2-5 | 60% | Music Store | ||
| Barrel | At the bottom you can see where the Dev scraped for this description | 1-3 | 70% | Dazed 10% | ||
| Baseball Bat | Good for hitting home runs, breaking knees, or cracking skulls | 2-3 | 65% | Dazed 25% | Sporting Goods Stores | |
| Bloated Stumps | Ew | 4-8 | 39% | |||
| Bowling Ball | Perfect for dealing with people who are talking a lot of balls | 3-5 | 60% | Dazed 20% | ||
| Bowling Pin | Weapon, sports equipment, juggling prop, sex toy, a veritable myriad of uses | 2-4 | 70% | |||
| Burial Urn | Just add milk for a zombie diet shake | 1-2 | 70% | |||
| Cactus | This one looks as though it's about to flower, it'd be a shame to ruin it | 2-4 | 65% | |||
| Candelabra | I'm really hoping it's not one of those talking ones | 1-4 | 70% | |||
| Candlestick | You found the next to the body of Colonel Mustard, in the Library | 2-3 | 65% | Dazed 10% | ||
| Ceramic Sculpture | I have no idea what this was meant to be, but the price tag reads 856.99 | 2-4 | 70% | |||
| Chunk of Driftwood | By using this as a weapon, you have saved it from the curse of Beach Art | 1-2 | Dazed 10% | |||
| Christmas Lights | An alternative method to make vampires to sparkle | 4-5 | 50% | The Santa Slayer drop | Christmas Event | |
| Christmas Tree | It's already started to shed | 5-8 | 55% | the Window Peeper drop | Christmas Event | |
| Chunk of Driftwood | By using this as a weapon, you have saved it from the curse of Beach Art | 1-2 | 60% | Dazed 10% | ||
| Clarinet | This will put the wind up your enemies | 2-3 | 75% | Music Store | ||
| Coal Shovel | With the right technique you can get coal to any part of the firebox that needs it | 2-4 | 55% | |||
| Computer Chair | Ergonomically designed for somebody that isn't you | 2-4 | 70% | Mall security office | ||
| Cow Horn | His bell didn't work | 2-3 | 60% | |||
| Cricket Bat | Theres nothing like the sound of leather on willow, she was a lovely lady | 2-3 | 60% | Dazed 20% | ||
| Crowbar | 2-4 | 70% | Dazed 10% | |||
| Crutch | This is a very drop, you're very lucky, just kidding | 1-2 | 70% | |||
| Cursed Egyptian Scepter | A mighty jewelled and terrifying sceptre used by an ancient evil | 5-6 | 60% | Infatuated 50%
Terrified 30% |
The Cursed Pharaoh | |
| Cursed Santa Sack | HO HO HO | 5-10 | 50% | Dazed 50% | Gryla the Patient | Christmas Event |
| Dark Tentacles | At least five of your anime nightmares have come true | 2-4 | 60% | Terrified 35% | Faceless Figure | |
| Dead Fish | Probably just a red herring | 0-1 | 40% | |||
| Dead Trick or Treater | 2-4 | 50% | ||||
| Dinosaur Fossil | I'd like to see this life find a way | 1-5 | 55% | Dazed 30% | ordinary museum | |
| Disco Ball | Hundreds of tiny mirrors reflect spots of light all around you, and proves disco isn't dead | 2-4 | 55% | |||
| Dragon Sculpture | I heard that somewhere it has a tattoo of a girl. | 3-4 | 55% | |||
| Fantasy Character Statue | You can't help but think that if you'd paid for this, you'd have felt ripped off | 3-6 | 55% | |||
| Fishing Pole | You should have seen the size of the one that got away! | 3-4 | 70% | |||
| Flagpole | For when your memory is so bad you have to remind yourself what country you live in | 2-5 | 45% | Thanksgiving Event | ||
| Fryer Basket | The lesser known cousin of Friar Tuck | 1-3 | 45% | |||
| Frying Pan | When Jenny Greentooth tries to drown your little brother, this will leave her head Aching | 1-3 | 70% | Dazed 10% | ||
| Garbage Can | Please check for grouches, before using | 1-5 | 70% | Dazed 10% | ||
| Gas Station Bathroom Key | It's rumoured The Goblins have the only one in Roja, form an orderly queue | 1-2 | 70% | |||
| Gentleman’s Cane | Well, look at you, Mr.Fancy Pants | 3-5 | 60% | |||
| Giant Crucifix | For crucifying giants | 3-4 | 34% | 15% | ||
| Giant Wishbone | Make a giant wish! | 2-4 | 70% | |||
| Golf Club | FORE! | 2 | 70% | |||
| Guitar | You should conceal this weapon at parties | 2-5 | 55% | Music Store | ||
| Halligan Bar | A firefighting & Rescue tool, the precursor to the inimitable Slamigan | 2-6 | 70% | Bleeding 5%, Dazed 15% | ||
| Hammer | Stop! Hammer time! | 1-3 | 70% | |||
| Heavy Sack | I've no idea what it's filled with, but I like to think it's heavy balls | 3-5 | 65% | |||
| Helix Barrel | A label on the side reads, Please Dispose of Carefully | 1-3 | 70% | Dazed 10% | ||
| Hiking Stick | Perfect for slashing at the undergrowth | 1-3 | 60% | Outdoors Shop | ||
| Hockey Stick | If you're fighting 1' tall Nazi's made of Bratwurst, this is the weapon for you. | 1-4 | 55% | Dazed 30% | ||
| Ice Sculpture | Ugh, you're such a showoff, I'm asked if you wanted to build a snowman | 4-8 | 40% | |||
| Kayak | Your friends laughed at you for holding on to this, well who's laughing now? | 5-6 | 60% | |||
| Kayak Paddle | "That's a paddlin'!" - Jasper Beardley | 3-4 | 70% | |||
| Key to the City | You have the key to the city, but not the certificate of mayorship | 2-5 | 50% | Infatuated 45% | The Mayor | Restricted Item |
| Large Stick | What's brown and sticky? | 1-3 | 70% | Gorilla | ||
| Large Wooden Doll | Don't try it, you'll get splinters | 4-5 | 50% | Halloween Event | ||
| Length Of Chain | It's impossible to tell what this was originally used for, but it has a satisfying heft to it | 1-5 | 55% | |||
| Length Of Pipe | It's so versatile, I wonder if you could play it like a didgeridoo? | 1-3 | 65% | Dazed 50% | construction sites or starting as a convict | |
| Log | What rolls down stairs
alone or in pairs, and over your neighbor's dog? What's great for a snack, And fits on your back? It's Log, Log, Log It's Log, it's Log, It's big, it's heavy, it's wood. It's Log, it's Log, it's better than bad, it's good. Everyone wants a Log You're gonna love it, Log Come on and get your Log Everyone needs a Log Log Log Log *whistle* LOG FROM BLAMMO |
1-10 | 35% | Dazed 20% | ||
| Mannequin Limb | These things cost an arm and a leg | 1-2 | 70% | |||
| Malfunctioning Antique Rifle | There's more than one way to skin a cat! | 2-4 | 70% | |||
| Massive Barrel | For when a normal barrel just won't do | 5-8 | 50% | |||
| Medieval Mace | A heavy flanged mace | 5-8 | 50% | Weakened 25% | Ye Olde Weapons Shop | |
| Metal Gauntlet | It's okay, but it could do with something to make it more seasonal | 5-8 | 55% | Yule Lad drop | Christmas Event | |
| Metal Super Sword Replica | It looks amazing, it's wildly impractical, but that really doesn't matter when it looks like this | 2-4 | 70% | |||
| Microphone Stand | The base has "Property of" painted on it, the venue name has been scratched off | 2-4 | 65% | Music Store | ||
| Mop | You missed a bit | 2-3 | 70% | Gas Stations | ||
| Night Stick | It's a stick in the day, too. | 3-4 | 60% | Dazed 30% | Police Departments, Stadium Guard Center | |
| Pair Of Drumsticks | Pa rum pa pum pum pum | 0-1 | 55% | Music Store | ||
| Pair of Pliers | Nip, nip... | 2-4 | 65% | Hardware Stores | Crafting item | |
| Pizza Peel | A large flat shovel for loading pizzas in to, and out of, the oven | 1-3 | 70% | |||
| Pizza Stone | When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza stone, that's assault | 2-3 | 70% | |||
| Pool Cue | Don't stop me now just started playing on the jukebox | 2-3 | 60% | Bars, Clubs, Sporting Goods Stores | ||
| Pro Baseball Bat | 2-5 | 65% | Batting Cage | |||
| Prop Blade | 2-3 | 70% | ||||
| Prosthetic Limb | The question you're rightly still asking yourself, is why were there so many of these in one place | 1-2 | 38% | Dazed 10% | ||
| Pumpkin Staff | The smell of rotting pumpkins fill the air | 5-6 | 61% | Rotting 20%, Terrified 15% | Dandy Jack | Halloween Event |
| Reindeer Antler | That these can't be equipped to your head is a travesty | 5-8 | 40% | Dazed 25% | ||
| Replacement Metal Arm Prop | The off-brand version | 4-6 | 45% | Dazed 30% | ||
| Riot Shield | Strangely, this doesn't protect you, at all | 3-5 | 60% | Dazed 20% | ||
| Robot Shockarm | Danger, Danger Will Robinson! | 2-5 | 65% | 35% Electrified
30% Malfunction |
||
| Rock | A lovely lump of Crinoidal Limestone | 2-4 | 50% | Dazed 15% | parks (and probably more) | |
| Rolling Pin | It gathers no moss | 2-3 | 70% | |||
| Sack Of Quarters | Please take them out of the sack before trying to insert them into a Vending Machine | 1-2 | 70% | Dazed 15% | ||
| Santa Baseball Bat | The kind of weapon the gets you on the naughty list | 8-10 | 50% | Bleeding 45% Dazed 30% | Santa Bub | Christmas Event |
| Saxophone | By law, this may only be played on a balcony, on a sultry summer night | 2-4 | 65% | Music Store | ||
| Severed Arm | The person who used to own this is 'armless | 1-2 | 70% | Funeral Homes, Morgues | ||
| Severed Head | 4-7 | 50% | Dazed 25% | Funeral Homes, Morgues | ||
| Sledgehammer | I'll never look at one of these again without thinking of Kathy Bates | 4-6 | 50% | Dazed 25% | Hardware Stores, Work Sites | |
| Sling | Recommended by Giant Killers everywhere | 2-4 | 55% | Dazed 25% | Ammo: Rock | |
| Shillelagh | it's got a knob on the end | 5-8 | 40% | Dazed 15% | ||
| Shovel | Finally, something you can dig yourself out of a hole with | 2-4 | 55% | Dazed 20% | ||
| Snow Shovel | Please check for grouches, before using | 1-5 | 70% | Dazed 10% | ||
| Space Rock | heard this came from Uranus | 2-4 | 70% | Dazed 10% | ||
| Table Leg | Substantially more edible that a frogs leg | 4-6 | 50% | Dazed 10% | ||
| Thigh Bone | Neither connected to the knee bone, nor the hip bone | 1-4 | 60% | Dazed 10% | ordinary museum | |
| Tiger Statue | Tiger tiger,
burning bright, bludgeon people to death, with all your might |
3-5 | 50% | |||
| Tombstone | Hey, isn't that your name carved on there? | 4-6 | 45% | Dazed 20% | graveyards | |
| Track Spike Hammer | Just wielding it is giving you the urge to buy a train set | 4-6 | 50% | Dazed 25% | ||
| Train Coupling Pin | Please do not remove during transit | 2-6 | 55% | |||
| Tree Limb | I'm going to go out on a limb, and suggest you search for a better weapon | 2-4 | 70% | |||
| Trick Or Treater Bag | It'd be a higher percentage if you'd gone to the posh neighborhood, and got the full sized bars | 3-6 | 55% | Dazed 10% | Halloween Event | |
| Trophy | Oh, it's for participation, harsh | 4-6 | 38% | Dazed 10% | ||
| Trumpet | You've got some brass using this as a weapon | 3-5 | 50% | |||
| Turkey leg | One careful owner | 2-4 | 40% | |||
| Umbrella | My umbrella, -ella, -ella, eh, eh, eh | 1-2 | 55% | |||
| Violin | I abhor violence. I abhor all stringed instruments. | 1-2 | 53% | Music Store | ||
| Voo Doo Doll | This one looks like you, it's probably a good idea not to stab it | 5-8 | 40% | |||
| Wheelchair | As a weapon, it's wheelie good | 2-6 | 55% | |||
| Winter Scepter | You can feel the primal force of winter coursing through your veins | 5-7 | 60% | Chilled 40%, Dazed 45% | Frau the Witch drop | Christmas Event |
| Witches Staff | You strongly suspect somebody has just pulled the bristles off a broom | 4-6 | 55% | Dazed 35%, Infatuated 15% | Halloween Event | |
| Wok | A frying pan, but bigger. | 1-3 | 70% | Dazed 11% | ||
| Wooden Board | As thick as two short planks | 2-4 | 38% | |||
| Wooden Training Sword | Very expensive firewood | 2-4 | 70% | Dazed 30% | ||
| Wrench | A mechanics best friend. Inexplicably flammable. | 2-4 | 50% | Dazed 30% | Auto Shops, assumedly. |
Power Tools
- Power tools are not considered ranged weapons.
| Item | Description | Damage | Hit Chance | Effects | Ammo Capacity | Ammo Type | Location / Dropped By |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Chainsaw | "Suck my spinning steel, shithead!"
- Bad Taste |
6-12 | 50% | Bleeding 30% | 10 | Gas Can | Hardware Store |
| Earth Auger | Dead boring | 7-8 | 50% | 15 | Gas Can | Hardware Store | |
| Flame Thrower | Perfect for testing if your friends are who they say they are | 1-17 | 50% | Burning 50% | 4 | Gas Can | Pyro |
| K12 Rescue Saw | The Husqvarna K12 (Fire Department) is the circular saw that all other circular saws want to grow up to be | 6-12 | 50% | Bleeding 40% | 10 | Gas Can | Fire Station |
| Lawnmower | "Party's over!"
- Dead Alive |
8-15 | 50% | 4 | Gas Can | Hardware Store | |
| Massive Chainsaw | The bar on this is huge and the chain looks far more jagged than a normal chainsaw | 7-14 | 50% | Bleeding 50%
Weakened 30% |
10 | Gas Can | Mangler |
| Nailgun | "What do you think? Those are the worst headaches... the ones between the eyes?" | 2-4 | 50% | 20 | Box of Nails | Hardware Store | |
| Power Drill | With this you could be a Driller Killer. | 1-4 | 70% | N/A | N/A | Hardware Store | |
| Power Excavator | On no account should this be used to excavate somebody's face | 3-8 | 47% | Bleeding 35% | N/A | N/A | Hardware Store |
| Weed Trimmer | Ideal for giving haircuts to zombies | 2-5 | 55% | 25 | Gas Can | Hardware Store | |
| Welding Torch | Can you smell roasting pork? | 1-10 | 50% | Burning 25% | 6 | Gas Can | Hardware Store |
Hand to Hand Weapons
| Item | Description | Damage | Hit Chance | Effects | Location / Dropped By | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Bladed Glove | 5-7 | 50% | Bleeding 25%, Lethargic 30% | |||
| Boxing Gloves | 4-5 | 40% | ||||
| Brass Knuckles | 4-6 | 45% | Dazed 20% | |||
| Cat Claws | 6-8 | 50% | Bleeding 100% | |||
| Tendril Hands | 5-7 | 50% | Cellular Corruption 25%, Rotting 25% |
Ranged Weapons
| Item | Description | Type | Damage | Hit Chance | Effects | Ammo Capacity | Ammo Type | Location / Dropped By | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Acid Flower | I didn't want to sniff it when it was full of water | Small Arms | 2-6 | 35% | Blinded 40% | 8 | Small Vial of Acid | Edwin the Santa Clown drop | Christmas Event |
| Assault Rifle | Perfect for hunting, apparently | Assault | 5-10 | 55% | 15 | Rifle Magazine | Fort Armory, Gun Stores, Leviathan buildings, Crafting | ||
| Boomerang | Small Arms | 4-5 | 55% | Dazed 15% | N/A | N/A | |||
| Conduit's Tesla Coil | BZZZZZZZZZZZZZAP! | Small Arms | 8-20 | 55% | Electrified 50%
Malfunction 50% AOE 5 |
2 | Car Battery | The Conduit (Rare) | |
| Crossbow | For any of you striving to maintain balance, there's also a Love Bow | Assault | 3-7 | 65% | 1 | Arrow | Sporting Goods Stores | ||
| Experimental Lightgun | PEW PEW PEW | Assault | 4-11 | 60% | Blinded | 12 | Battery | Grime City Space Museum | |
| Grenade Launcher | You're now a one person fireworks display | Small Arms | 12-16 | 50% | Dazed 25%, A) 5 | 1 | Grenades | Experimental Fighting System Drop | |
| Heavy Tank Machine Gun | DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA | Assault | 1-14 | 50% | AOE 3 | 6 | HTMG Ammo | Santabot 3000 drop | Christmas Event |
| Hunting Bow | Those with bad aim should try hunting vegetables with it | Small Arms | 1-5 | 70% | Bleeding 30% | 1 | Arrow | ||
| Hunting Rifle | "Shh. Be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm hunting wampires"
- Van Fuddsing |
Assault | 7-9 | 65% | 5 | Box of Hunting Rifle Rounds | |||
| Lever Action Rifle | You're feeling the urge to loot a cowboy hat | Assault | 7-9 | 65% | 6 | Box of Hunting Rifle Rounds | |||
| Longbow | It's a booooow | Small Arms | 2-7 | 60% | Bleeding 40% | 1 | Arrow | ||
| Love Bow | I think I saw a flying fat kid in a nappy drop this | Small Arms | 2-5 | 70% | Infatuated 70% | 1 | Arrow | ||
| Maroney’s Elephant Gun | Because sometimes Elephants hide behind rocks | Assault | 13-15 | 70% | 1 | Elephant Rifle Round | Maroney Gun’s | ||
| Musket | Uncannily accurate for a musket | Assault | 4-5 | 65% | 1 | Nesler Ball | Revolutionary Museum | Nesler Balls also found in Revolutionary Museum | |
| Pistol | A six shot pistol, it's pretty basic, and so is the description | Small Arms | 4-7 | 65% | 6 | Pistol Magazine | Fort Armory, Gun Stores, Malls, Police Departments, Detective Agencies, Crafting | ||
| Poison Dart Gun | Look at you, all Spiderperson now | Small Arms | 1-2 | 75% | Poison 45% | 1 | Poison Darts | Japanese museum | |
| Santa Launcher | They say it's a time for giving, so give 'em hell | Assault | 13-17 | 50% | Burning 30%
AOE 5 |
1 | Santa Rocket | Santabot 3000 drop | Christmas Event |
| Shotgun | Devastate! | Small Arms | 8-12 | 50% | Dazed 10% | 4 | Box of Shotgun Shells | Fort Armory, Gun Stores, Malls, Police Departments, Stadium Guard Center, Crafting (factories?) | |
| Sling | Primitive shooting | Small Arms | 2-4 | 55% | 1 | Rock | Museums | ||
| Snow Cannon | Some might call this cheating, in a snowball fight, but not you, you cheat | Assault | 1-3 | 70% | Chilled 25%
AOE 4 |
1 | Snowball | Abominable Snow Creature | Christmas Event |
| T-Shirt Cannon | Honestly I'm amazed they're allowed to use these to hand out t-shirts | Small Arms | 4-6 | 55% | Dazed 25% | 1 | T-Shirts | ||
| Taser | ??? | Small Arms | 0 | 65% | Dazed 100% | 10 | Battery | ||
| Tommy Gun | It's a travesty that there isn't a cream firing version in the game | Assault | 6-8 | 50% | AOE 4 | 10 | Box of TG Ammo | ||
| Tranq Gun | "Check this out, Lunchbox. Animal tranquilizer. This shit fucks you up like Percocets!"
- Jay |
Assault | 1-2 | 80% | Lethargic | 3 | Tranq Darts | ||
| Webbing Gun | Look at you, all Spiderperson now | Small Arms | 2-5 | 60% | Stuck 20% | 8 | Webbing Canister |
Throwing Weapons
Note: Throwing weapon accuracy is calculated as a multiplier of the base accuracy based on health %:
1%-25%: x1
26%-50%: x2
51%-99%: x3
100%: x4
| Item | Description | Damage | Max Accuracy | Base Accuracy | Effects | Location / Dropped By | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Ancient Pot | 1-3 | 160% | 40% | Museums | |||
| Animal Dung | What's brown, and sounds like a bell? DUNG! | 1-2 | 200% | 50% | Barns | ||
| Bale of Hay | Whether you're planning a hoedown, or off to make friends with a horse, you're well prepared | 2-4 | 100% | 25% | |||
| Bar Of Gold | Utterly worthless, perhaps you could build a wall with them? | 2-4 | 120% | 30% | |||
| Boom-Boom Baby | The sound of an exploding baby always leaves me rattled | 8-12 | 32% | 8% | Dazed 25%, Terrified 15% | ||
| Bottle of Infected Pus | I double dog dare you to drink it | 1-3 | 100% | 50% | Infected 60% | ||
| Broken Egg | Butterfingers | 1-3 | 100% | 25% | |||
| Brown Egg | It's an egg, just a normal egg, or is it? No, it really is, it's just an egg | 1-3 | 100% | 25% | |||
| Cinderblock | For those from the UK, it's a Breeze Block | 3-5 | 100% | 25% | Dazed 75% | ||
| D20 die | Icosahedron complete with numbers | 1-3 | 200% | 50% | Hyperion Tabletop Gaming | ||
| Dart | Fun pub game | 1-4 | 100% | 25% | Bars | ||
| Dodo Egg | The egg of an extinct flightless bird, life finds a way | 1-3 | 100% | 25% | |||
| Egg | Now I just need some bacon | 1-2 | 80% | 20% | |||
| Explosive Christmas Ornament | You're sure you saw this on a Dr.Who Xmas special | 12-16 | 32% | 8% | Yule Lad | Christmas Event | |
| Extremely Stale Donut | There'd better be a dentist around here, as you definitely heard a crack when you gave it a nibble | 1-3 | 100% | 25% | |||
| Flashbang | MY EYES! MY BEAUTIFUL SEXY COME-TO-BED EYES! | 2-4 | 48% | 12% | Blinded 100%, Dazed 10%
AOE 4 |
||
| Football | I'm going to let you imagine what shape it is | 1-4 | 100% | 25% | |||
| Fresh Cabbage | Green, leafy, delicious pickled | 0-1 | ?? | ?? | |||
| Gorgon's Heart | 6-8 | 60% | 15% | Petrified 25% | |||
| Grenade | Throw far, far, away | 12-16 | 32% | 8% | Dazed 25%
AOE 4 |
Risks friendly fire | |
| Hard Scone | 4-8 | 400% | 100% | ||||
| Iceball | There are some real rotters who like to freeze their snowballs | 2-5 | 100% | 25% | |||
| Iced Snowball | Not as soft as the snowball, not as hard as the Iceball | 12-16 | 32% | 8% | Chilled 20%, Dazed 20% | ||
| Jack O' Lantern | Definitely for the trick side of the festivities | 4-8 | 100% | 25% | Burning 45% | ||
| Maid Throwing Knife | It's my tribal name | 2-4 | 120% | 30% | Bleeding 30% | Maid Club | |
| Manniquen Head | If you can keep your head, whilst all about are losing theirs, you obviously haven't grasped the magnitude of the situation | 3-5 | 140% | 35% | |||
| Metal Drill Ball | It's that iconic weapon, from that film, we're not allowed to mention either for legal reasons | 5-7 | 60% | 15% | Morgues | ||
| Molotov Cocktail | This one has olives in it | 5-10 | 72% | 18% | Burning 75% | Rioter | |
| Lizard Egg | Why was a rabbit carrying a lizards egg? | 1-3 | 100% | 25% | Easter Event | ||
| Off-White Egg | An egg that seems sort of gross. | 1-3 | 100% | 25% | |||
| Package | Oh my god, a present, quick, quick, open it! | 2-3 | 72% | 18% | |||
| Petrified Egg | A egg that seems to be made of stone. | 1-3 | 100% | 25% | |||
| Plastic Monster Catching Ball | No matter how many times you throw it at Girlflesh, you can't seem to choose them | 1-2 | 120% | 30% | |||
| Puke Green Egg | A clearly infected egg. | 1-3 | 100% | 25% | Infected 1% | ||
| Pumpkin | It's not the ideal weapon, but needs must | 4-8 | 100% | 25% | Halloween Event | ||
| Rotten Egg | One of these is an ouef | 0-1 | 100% | 25% | |||
| Rose | Bleeding | Florists | |||||
| Skull | You've been looking for one of these for a while, don't throw it by accident | 2-3 | 120% | 30% | |||
| Small Cactus | Airborne cacti are one of the signs of the apocalypse, it's true, look it up! | 2-3 | 80% | 20% | |||
| Snowball | Now that you can pick up an Emasculator in Fogridge, there'll be plenty of people with sno' balls | 1-3 | 140% | 35% | Chilled 25% | Christmas Event | |
| Supernatural Crow | Oh, it won't rain all the time | 4-6 | 60% | 15% | Terrified 35% | Scarecrow Corpse | |
| Tea Set | An immaculate 28 piece bone china tea service, decorated with trailing ivy vines | 1-3 | 100% | 25% | |||
| Throwing Star | If you didn't try to make a shuriken from a tin box lid, what exactly did you do in craft? | 1-4 | 140% | 35% | Museum of Japanese Warfare | ||
| Tire | Carrying too many will make you tired | 3-4 | 40% | 10% | |||
| Tremendous Egg | The largest egg you have ever seen! | 3-6 | 100% | 25% | |||
| Unstable Concoction | Nothing personal, but I'm never drinking on of your cocktails | 12-16 | 48% | 12% | Dazed 25%, Infected 45% | ||
| Video Game Disc | This is cutting edge technology, alas it doesn't have a cutting edge | 0-1 | 220% | 55% | |||
| Wish Ball | I'm pretty sure this doesn't work like in the show | 2-4 | 80% | 20% | Koma's Kosplay |
Traps
| Item | Description | Damage | Hit Chance | Effects | Location / Dropped By | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Bear Trap | 3-5 | 45% | Bleeding 30% | Houses, zoo bear pen | ||
| Building Blocks | 2-3 | 50% | ||||
| Bunch of D20 Dice | 1-4 | 50% | ||||
| Caltrops | The thing you drop to stop cars | 2-4 | 50% | Bleeding 25% | Museum of Japanese Warfare | |
| Defective Toy | 6-9 | 50% | Terrified 35% | Museum of Japanese Warfare, The Deformed Child | ||
| Infected Easter Egg | A easter egg that looks about to explode | 5-10 | 50% | Burning 30%, Infected 50% | ||
| Infected Turkey Egg | 6-9 | 50% | Infected 45% | |||
| Landmine | Can be placed in-doors for a special surprise to the next creature who comes running | 6-9 | 50% | Bleeding 25% | ||
| Motion Detector | Detects movement and rings an alarm | 0 | 100% | Rings an alarm that can be heard up to 3 blocks away | ||
| Motion Detection Strobelight | 0 | 50% | Blinded 80% |
Damageless Weapons
| Item | Description | Hit Chance | Effects | Location / Dropped By | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Accordion | |||||
| Bagpipes | |||||
| Balloon Animal | Congratulations you have now mastered making a snake | 80% | |||
| Beach Ball | Not to be used as a life preserver | 55% | |||
| Body Pillow | <Player name> | 100% | Ask around, something about Weebs | Joke weapon, but actually in the game | |
| Crystal Ball | Favoured by the Goblin King | 75% | |||
| Dozen Roses | A bouquet of adoration | 105% | |||
| Dumptrucks' dumptruck | We both know what you did to get this | 100% | Dumptruck the Cat | ||
| Fake Blood | Perfect for vegan vampires | 105% | |||
| Fake Flower | I hope you're filling this with water | 78% | |||
| Fire Extinguisher | 100% | Chilled 80%, Remove Burning 100%, Remove Scorched 15% | Reloads with Pack of Flame Retardant | ||
| Flute | 30% | Inspired 50% | |||
| Fly Swatter | It's not even one of the electric ones, you're pretty sure you can hear flies laughing at you | 75% | |||
| Fog Machine | If you don't own one of these, are you really a wedding DJ? | 95% | |||
| Joy Buzzer | Nobody thinks you're funny (but you definitely are) | 65% | |||
| Magical 8-Ball | I predict this will end well | 102% | |||
| Magical Girl Wand | A white rod with light violet small wings protruding from the sides. The top of the wand is in the shape of a white circle with a gold star in the middle, | 80% | Infatuated 30% | ||
| Magic Wand | Your mastery of this makes you 100% more attractive to potential partners | 95% | |||
| Marker | We both know what you're going to write on them | 105% | School | "You write on <player name> with your Marker." | |
| Microphone | Karaoke translates as Aural Torture | 115% | Music Store | "You croon for <player name> with your Microphone." | |
| Mistletoe | If you tuck it in to your belt, people are legally allowed to kill you, instead of kiss you | 70% | |||
| Mouthwash | Oral hygiene is important, even in the apocalypse | 85% | |||
| Negative Node Tendril | Everything is better in THE HOLE another few days in it would be so good for you | 55% | Waste 5% | ||
| nothing | What are you looking at? There's nothing here | 75% | Nobody | Joke weapon, but actually in the game | |
| Oversized Fists | BULK SMASH | 85% | |||
| Oversized Mallet | It's a miracle of modern production methods how this can be so huge, and not inflict damage | 95% | Zoo | "You whack <player name> with your Oversized Mallet." | |
| Positive Node Tendril | Every time you look at it, you realise leaving THE HOLE is a bad idea | 60% | Lesser Rejuvenation 5% | ||
| Pair of Pliars | Never drop your last pair | 65% | Hardware Stores | ||
| Pen | Contrary to all wisdom this is not mightier than the sword, unless it's a very small sword, and a very big pen | 95% | "You write on <player name> with your Pen." | ||
| Pillow | Hungarian Goose Down, such luxury, this one boomphs extra softly | 102% | |||
| Plastic Sword | You once bopped somebody too hard and it bent | 75% | |||
| Positive Node Tendril | ??? | 55% | Puppet Node | "You boop <player name> with your Positive Node Tendril." Potential to bestow a buff. | |
| Protest Sign | "DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING"
"CAREFUL NOW" |
90% | Rioters | ||
| Putrid Egg | One of these is an oeuf | 85% | |||
| Rubber Chicken | Fortunately the squeaker seems to be broken in this one | 98% | "You mock <player name> with your Rubber Chicken." | ||
| Roll of Toilet Paper | Who wastes toilet paper in the apocalypse? | 85% | |||
| Sneezing Powder | Use it when they're doing their kill speech | 50% | |||
| Sponge | Neither called Bob, nor wearing pants | 75% | |||
| Spray String | Your target looks pretty silly now, let's hope they have a sense of humour | 75% | |||
| Stoneman Blaster | An imported Stoneman themed foam dart gun, from Japan | 100% | Game Shop | "You phoomph <a player> with your Stoneman Blaster." Must be loaded with foam bullets (also found in game shops) to work. | |
| Taser | "Shock to the system"
- Fear Factory |
65% | Dazed 70% | ||
| Toilet Plunger | "I AM A DALEK, EXTERMINATE THE DOCTOR! EXTERMINATE!" | 75% | |||
| Toy Gun | Comes with a seemingly inexhaustible supply of caps | 110% | |||
| Toy Laser | "No Mr.Bond, I expect you to" be identified by this low powered toy | 110% | "You zap <player name> with your Toy Laser." | ||
| Trick or Treat Bag | Go to the posh neighbourhood, they have full sized bars | 105% | Halloween Event | ||
| Water Pistol | Can also be used for baptisms, during pandemics | 90% | Remove Burning 45% |